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females first

Downsides of Being Small

I am crazy with frustration. I was planning on ordering my power rack today, but it occurred to me that the one I was about to choose was too wide for my barbell. Customer service confirmed. I've spent all day trying to find a narrow power rack. Well, I learned that most power racks are designed for a "standard" 7ft long barbell.

My barbell is 5ft long. I don't want a 7ft long barbell; aside from the additional expense, that seems huge and maybe even dangerous for my size, what with balancing the length and all. I don't want to waste effort on balancing something long; I want my effort to go towards vertical lifting. I asked about narrow power racks on a fitness forum and multiple posters told me that 7ft should be fine. I can't trust what they say because most lifters are men and probably have no idea what it's like to navigate the world as a 5ft tall womon. One of them asked me if I have room outside of my hands to rack the bar. I have eight inches on each side!

While I wasn't failing to find a power rack, I was failing to find a weight bench that won't leave my legs dangling. I found one that's fifteen inches high. It costs over a hundred bucks.

I hate this. I'm giving up tomorrow. Saving money is no longer worth my sanity, and a narrower power rack apparently doesn't exist anyhow, so I'll give in and order the power rack, buy a longer barbell, hopefully lose the ebay auction for the taller bench I bid on this morning, and spend another hundred bucks on the fifteen-inch travel bench. 

So, back to earning money to pay for all of this stuff. My right arm hurts. I was supposed to be saving up for a trip to Oregon, wasn't I? I really need this weightlifting thing now.

Oh, one good thing happened today. I received a letter from the housing authority about my new rent responsibility. I was worried about having to pay a huge portion of my new income for rent, but it only went up by seven dollars! I laughed. Seventeen bucks for rent! I have it good. I'm glad that I decided not to hide my income. However, the same thing that resulted in such a small increase this year—the fact that Upwork only makes earnings statements available yearly—may result in too large of an increase next year. I hope that I'll be gone by then. Downstairs neighbors kept me awake for hours with revolting sex noises last night, and their TV was loud again.

It occurred to me that I can now afford to travel to the next town for therapy.